Lessons From My Father.
/I put together a little series over on my Instagram Stories about advice and stories from fathers, answered by women who I love and admire. Check out the series here!
1. Traits I've Inherited From My Dad:
My Dad and I both relish the opportunity to be goofy and make people laugh. And we love to laugh at each other.
I love to write music and sing, so growing up my Dad and I spent a lot of time doing that together. He plays guitar and sings and led all the music at our church growing up, so he gave me lots of opportunity to join him and explore music with him.
Also, perhaps most importantly(?) - LORD OF THE RINGS. We live and breathe and rhetoric of Tolkien's brilliance and it's fine guys. We're fine. We're not obsessed or anything weird like that.
2. Best Advice I Learned From My Dad:
My Dad has always pointed me to the bible, no matter what situation I am going through. He has encouraged me for my entire life to continue reading the bible and find wisdom its teachings. After his years of exploring and studying so many religions, and after having his own spiritual experience which brought him to Jesus, he always points to the bible - "It's all in there, everything you need."
He also taught me to celebrate big - "Go big or go home!". It's probably the Italian in him, but he loves to eat, drink and be merry and he encouraged us to all live large and enjoy the moments life gives. My Dad knows how to have a good time! Which I just really appreciate.
2. What Dad Taught Me About Marriage:
Be quick to apologize. My Dad told me (and showed me), that if he was wrong about something, he would quickly admit he was wrong and immediately apologize. This is hard for me to do, especially in the heat of a disagreement, but when I am feeling really stubborn about something, I remember that my Dad would apologize if it were him. And that little bit of knowledge helps (sometimes).
3. What Dad Taught Me About Parenting:
Be a firm disciplinarian. My Dad was hard on me when it came to discipline, and he needed to be! I wasn't the best listener! He used to take everything away from me when I got in trouble - not just the usual "You're grounded, no TV!", but everything. No phone calls, no books, no dream journal - I had to sit in my room and stare at the wall. It's kind of funny to think about now but at the time I hateddd being grounded.
But now that I'm a parent, I get why it mattered. And I hold a firm line with my boys and believe strongly that if you discipline your children, you will enjoy being with them. If you don't discipline them, then they will be maniacs and you will never want to take them anywhere.
Also, he taught me that bribing works.
5. How Dad Gave Me A Head Start:
When I was a sophomore in high school I was dealing with frustration and unhappiness at my school. Even though I was a super involved student (cheerleading, chorus, theater), I was feeling overwhelmed in my classes (especially in math) and felt like I was falling through the cracks of my mega-big highschool. My parents didn't know what to do or what I needed, but they knew something had to change.
My Dad (and my Mom!) were always so for me and so they did all the research and ended up getting me into a smaller private school, where I attended my last two years of high school. I needed that change, and the school I graduated from was the perfect place for me. I was so happy there, I felt valued and had so much support and resources (especially with the math and science classes that were challenging for me). My parents didn't just make me "suck it up and wait it out" at my other school - my Dad did everything in his power to help me along and I know it was an expensive choice to make. I am so grateful to him because I can't imagine my life without that wonderful school and the experience I had there.
6. Dad One-Liners That Still Pop Up In My Head:
Oh, there are so many! Probably the one that frequently pops up in my head is, "Think before you speak, Kristen!" Growing up I never stopped talking, and I would say the most ridiculous things a lot - I was basically born with no filter. My parents would constantly be telling me to think about what I was going to say before I said it - not everything that popped into my head needed to be vocalized. And gosh, they were right. This is one that I still hear in my mind all.the.time. And I'm super grateful for it. And now I find myself telling Everett the same exact thing!
7. How Dad Showed Me Value Growing Up:
My Dad worked really hard to provide for me and my sisters. I was a really active kid and involved in every activity under the sun - I went to cheerleading camp every summer, was tutored in math during the school year, was constantly auditioning and performing in plays and chorus and had private gymnastics lessons for years to keep up my skills for the teams I competed with. Looking back now, I can't imagine how incredibly expensive I was! And my Dad had his own business so it was all on him to provide for us. He worked very very hard and never once complained that having three daughters was legit pricey! All that being said, he supported all of my interests and made me feel like all of those things were important and mattered.
Happy Fathers Day to you, Dad! I love you with all my heart and I am so grateful for all the life lessons you passed along to me. You're a good man and I have utmost respect for you AND - I like hanging out with you. xx
